Today I can really feel the full moon. I experienced a trigger moment that completely ungrounded me for quite some time, before I managed to become present and more grounded again.
Having my toddler daughter to look after whilst this is happening is both challenging, yet helpful. Harder to find space to process the emotions, but easier because I have to be present with her.
In the event I hosted yesterday I announced that I wanted to allow myself to really let myself feel the emotions coming up, instead of closing them off, comfort eating or distracting myself.
Letting go of protecting myself from my feelings and letting myself feel them. I want to be able to feel them so that they can guide my actions and/or healing process.
All these emotions feels quite overwhelming. My first sense is to get rid of them. Having allowed myself to stay with it, it doesn’t feel as overpowering anymore. I am stubbornly acknowledging them. The cocktail of toxic emotions, boiling under the surface. They are real and they are there.
They are a part of my journey and they won’t just leave. They are neither good or bad – they are emotions creating movements in my heart, mind, body and in my soul.
As I’m writing this after formally having admitted how I feel and acceptance of it all, taking responsibility for it, there’s a glimpse of joy and peace in my stomach.
There’s a light in the end of the tunnel.
I’m writing this as my daughter is having her nap so my time is limited. She will soon wake up, and when she does I choose to be there for her. No phone’s just her and me.
So I thank you for your time and hope that you’ve been able to take with you, a piece of magic, that you can use for yourself. Because magic is what it feels like, the process of changing a state of deep heaviness to a lighter state. Higher vibrational way of being and living.
Through this dialogue with myself, writing this blog post to share with you, I already feel better. Let’s call it emotional/energetic detox or self-healing.
Ok. I’m ready to meet the world again. Feeling a bit softer and a bit more open.
Feeling grateful having been able to create this shift within. Feeling more at peace.
~ Maria Love Yoo